Parenting is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. Along with all the joy that parenthood brings, comes a lot of challenges too. But at the end of the day when you see your child happy you need nothing more from life. Sharing a strong bond with your child that will stay forever is what every parent wishes for.
What does your child want from you?
Even though the question sounds very difficult, the answer to it is very simple. It bottles down to 3 important things.
How early should I start?
Start from the very beginning. Your baby depends on you completely for every need of hers. Your touch, your presence comfort her. Holding her more often makes her feel secure. This is when your child’s bonding with you begins.
Related post: 10 Unique Ways to be Involved with your 0-3 Month-old.
As interactions begin things get even more interesting. Your child will try to communicate with you in his own way and expect a reaction. A child who is even less than 1 year old does have the ability to understand if his parent is paying attention to him. Your reactions and responses will help your child connect with you and create a strong and healthy bond.
How to create an everlasting bond with your child?
1.Appreciate more
Any human being feels the need to be appreciated. A child is no exception. Childhood is the foundation of a person’s life. A grown-up’s personality is a reflection of his experiences as a child. A child who has been appreciated often turns into a confident and emotionally strong adult.
The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to wait for something big to happen to appreciate your child. Appreciate those small little things to make a positive impact on your child’s mind.
Simple words of appreciation that will make your child feel happy:
- You did great.
- Good job buddy.
- You look lovely/handsome/smart today.
- I love how you colored this image/ I love your choice of colors
- Thank you for helping me out.
- You are a great helper.
- Thank you for tidying your room.
- You have a great imagination.
- You are the best.
- Thank you for taking care of your little brother(s)/sister(s).
- You are a wonderful brother/sister.
- You are awesome.
- You are so creative.
2.Show affection more often
To love and to be loved is the best feeling a person can experience. A child that grows in a loving and caring atmosphere develops a positive attitude in life. A sense of security that love provides makes a child assertive.
- They love to hear ‘ I love you ‘ and ‘I miss you ‘
- Flying kisses are the best.
- Hugs make them feel secure.
- Cuddle while sleeping.
- Play games together.
- Eat together.
- Hold their hands and walk.
- Brush his hair playfully.
- Kiss her on the forehead.
- Talk to them about their school, friends, etc.
- Make their favorite food.
- Spend time painting, coloring, crafting, cooking, etc.
3.Respect your child
It is very important to respect your children, no matter what their age. We, as adults, sometimes are very unfair to our children. They become easy targets of our anger due to the frustration, disappointment, failure, or stress we face.
We need to respect them as a person as well as their decisions and choices. A simple rule to remember is to treat your child the way you would want others to treat you.
4.Address her problems
Nothing makes your child feel better than knowing that you are there for him to help resolve his problem. Do not underestimate the intensity of a problem just because you feel it is a small issue. For him, it may be a big deal.
Teach them how to solve a problem rather than solving it for them. Give your suggestions as to how to resolve a fight with her friend or how to tackle his stage fear.
It is ok if you don’t have the answer to his question or a solution to his problem. Your child will still share his problems with you if you provide comfort and emotional support with your words and gestures.
5.Tell him ‘It’s ok to cry’
THINK, How many times have you used these sentences?
Don’t be a baby!
Stop crying for small things!
Crying to get their way or throwing tantrums should be handled in a different way. However, if your child is hurt physically or emotionally then let them cry. Hear them out, analyze the situation and help them express their emotions. Remember, crying is healthy. It reduces stress, detoxifies the body, and helps self-soothe.
Telling your son not to cry or finding it ok for your daughter to cry is a classic case of gender stereotyping. It is subconsciously ingrained in our mind that boys don’t cry but girls do. A parenting style without such gender biases is the most appropriate one.
6.Keep patience when they don’t get things right
Agreed, it is faster and more convenient (at times) when we do certain things for them. But, how does that impact your child? Is he learning what he is supposed to? Is she developing her skills if we do it for her?
No, it will not help them in the long run. We have to let them do things even if it takes time. Keep patience, it takes time and effort but that is best for your child.
Our patience helps them learn faster, gives them confidence that they can do things all by themselves.
7.Play with your child more often
In today’s times, we miss out on spending quality time with our children because of our busy schedules. It won’t be long that you realize they have grown up enough to not play with us anymore.
Take out time every day to play some board game, do a puzzle, dance, start a craft project, ask riddles, go to the park, etc. with your child.
8.Show your emotions
A relationship stays strong when each person feels helpful and needed. Share your feelings with your child. Let him know that you are having a bad day or are upset about something even if it is not concerning him. Tell him the reason to the extent you can.
Tell her what makes you happy, your fears, your dreams. Make your child a part of your emotional journey.
9.Encourage him to try new things
The best way to develop your child’s self-esteem is to encourage him to try new things. Let him know that it is ok even if you don’t succeed in it.
They need to learn that success or failure is a part of life. Fear of failure should not stop them from trying out something new. Your support and encouragement will help them over come their fears.
10.Do not embarrass them in front of others
If your child makes a mistake it is essential to correct him. You can do it right away or talk about it later. Make sure that you do it when you are not angry.
Being loud and demanding an apology will only make the situation worse. Embarrassing your children in front of people affects their self-esteem and confidence.
11.Your presence is important to them
Try to be around your child as much as possible. You needn’t be involved in what he is doing all the time. Of course, that is not possible.
However, just seeing you around makes her feel secure. Try finishing that last bit of work sitting next to her or place some toys on the kitchen floor so that she can play around you.
12.Make eye contact when having a conversation
Let them know that you are listening. And what’s the best way to do that? That’s right – Eye Contact.
We as parents, play a very crucial role in building their confidence. Having them feel wanted, listening to their problems, being there for them is what they need. A simple eye contact when they try to communicate with us makes them feel wanted, heard and comforted.
13.Involve them in your daily chores
Strengthen your bond by doing things together and spending quality time with your children. You can involve them in chores (based on their age) like:
- Cooking
- Deciding on the menu
- Washing dishes
- Tidying the house
- Making the bed
- Organizing the pantry/drawers/bookshelf
- Doing laundry
- Folding clothes
- Choosing groceries for the week
- Help put groceries away
- Vacuuming
- Cleaning the bathroom
- Taking the trash out
- Gardening
14.Count your blessings together
The family that prays together stays together. Talk about the happy moments that made you appreciate life and the challenges that made you a stronger person.
Life is beautiful. Let us make the most of it by cherishing each moment with our loved ones. Happiness is all about being together and being there for each other.
You may also like to read:
A perspective on Gender Stereotyping
Fun project to start with your child
A heartwarming poem on the relation between a mother and son
Dedicated to all the wonderful women out there
